Im at crimsons and i miss branden alot. im not very happy either cuz i wanted to see him but ashley wont go cuz bricens not there...but its bull cuz i always go even if i dont want to cuz she doesnt wanna go alone. like all the times i didnt wanna go but her and andrea made me now im asking her to and she dont wanna shes GAY!
nikki
<3
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Im still at crimsons and were gettin ready for a church thing... but yeah i started my morning out way wrong... I finally saw jessicas site and what pisses me off is ive only been looking for it for like ever and a bunch of people i know knew where it was the whole time! I dk they prolly just didnt tell me cuz i wanna beat her ass sooo bad! brandens still fuckin her! Cant stand either of em.
nikki
<3
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I feel like im dying , all i think about is when he loved me and things worked. Now I feel like i dont make him happy when he first got with her he still loved me but now its like he doesnt know who he loves ne more. I feel so sick. I wish he could just choose already and quit going back and fourth. I love him still and am sick and heartbroken without him. I really dont think shes prettier than i am maybe body wise but not face wise n ne way. and when he first got with her she was fat. i dk. She has a big nose and major overbite! I wish he read this sometimes but i dk. I never feel like I can just tell him how I feel. I havent told him I loved him in so long. Im afraid of his reaction now. I just wish he knew hes my everything. it just feels like she has everything i want. I dont know. But i hate her! Im dying inside but nobody can ever tell. I wish they could. I wish he could tell, he doesnt even notice even if he is holding me. The last time we talked about these things he held me and just let me cry in his arms its not like that ne more. I wish it was. I still remember his embrace. I would give ne thing to go back to our last night together. Just so I could tell him. Tell him I hate him for leaving me when I needed him the most and coming back when i didnt need him at all. But tell him I love him for coming back and giving my life meaning again, Tell him I love him because he loved me. Tell him he needs to choose. Tell him I want to have his kids and share a life with him. Tell him Ill love him and always be there no matter what he decides, Tell him Ill be here when she breaks his heart. Then just to tell him thats what I went through maybe then hed know just how strongly I love him.
HELP ME! IM DYING U JUST DONT KNOW CUZ I HIDE IT!
nikki
<3
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